pain

i wonder if i can sleep tonight, feeling v painful now. haish, juz now talking to jane, qp's fren abt qp. then she sae she ask qp if any of my fren now sae he like her will she block him anot? then qp sae no. haish, then jane oso told mi if i hadn't told her then it wud be much better...tt means i made a wrong choice? haish, sometimes i realli regret my choice, but i always tell myself the battle's not over yet..so err..anyway there isn't like another " tay yi " to go there make a mess n let his friends be friends of qp...hmm, then actualli it's quite hard to be frens wif her. then now thinking again, maybe i shld have go from the backdoor..hmm..the frontdoor method was like too..dangerous..le..

bravery comes wif stupidity, guess my move was wrong le. shld i give up? shld i turn back? either way, i feel pain. if i give up now everything will be over, i dun think i will be able to forget possibly at least 10 years down the road even, haish, so sad. i can give up, that means i muz tell my brain to totally kill all thoughts about qp...but then it can't..it's just so difficult n the result is pain..., the friction of my brain and my heart.., then if i continue down the road, it's a road tt will lead to nothingness.....it's a hopeless situation, not even a single...spark of light can be seen. well, most of the time, in hopeless situation miracles still do happen, but just what are the chances? now i kanna blocked, she totally avoiding me....why? she hates me? dunno..i nid that answer...i'm desiring to talk to qp...talk to her abt wad she actually think, but all my ways of commiunication are locked...i'm stucked here..in this stalement, a war of exhaustion n sacrifice, but why do i still keep fighting on?

my frens r still helping mi, dex, wr thanks for helping mi. even though ur efforts were kinda..erhmm...no offense but insignificant it made me felt great to have frens hu r willing 2 help...hmm....well i do trust tt u all r trying to help mi, and probably having fun as well...

now goin 11 le, i wonder if i can sleep tonight..well..then cya....